Broken, battered, betrayed, tormented, confused, abandoned, ashamed, addicted, alone… turn it off.
Turn off the brokenness you felt when he walked out the door and you didn’t know where he was going; then that night when you didn’t know if he’d come back. Turn off how battered you felt when he looked you in the eyes and told you he was leaving. That the responsibility was yours now for the keeping. Turn off feeling betrayed when he lied to you about the bruises, the scars, the unfinished habits.. when he found someone to keep him company and that someone wasn’t you. Turn off the torment that’s stuck in your mind every time the other women in his life pass you by. Turn off the confusion because nothing is ever going to make sense, not to anyone but him or so you think. Turn off feeling abandoned because he’s right there in front of your face. He works with you everyday, so you better make sure your head is held high and that your smile remains glued to your face. Turn off feeling ashamed, no one knows the rumors or if they’re true. You no in your heart that he would never intentionally hurt you. Turn off your addiction to him, because even though you long for him, is he really longing for you? Turn off feeling alone. You’re surrounded by people who care for you, and he even might still be there.. his stuff surrounds you at your house but that only makes it worse. Turn it off.
Turn it off because he can’t. Something isn’t right and it might not seem fair, but he needs you more than ever.. so turn it off and don’t you dare go anywhere. He lost everything and now he stands alone, so no matter what you’re feeling he needs someone to stay and cheer him on. He broke you into a million pieces, but something broke him worse, and though he won’t let you in he wants you to stay close. Something is making him ashamed, embarrassed, confused so just wrap your arms around him and tell him it’s okay. Even though you’re hurting you have to keep that at bay. He seems to think he’s broken beyond repair, so that’s why he needs you to show him that he matters.
You love him, you miss him, you’re mad, confused, hurt, alone… turn it off. For him.
“She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.”